Where do I begin?
Maybe I should start with the situation that triggered it –
So a few hours ago, I was out with my family celebrating my father’s birthday (a whole day with the family; so blissful!). As my family and I sat together, joked around, just being the Burhans that we are, my family members made a few comments towards my behaviour – ACT LIKE YOUR AGE!
4 words, more than a few letters (yes, I am trying to pull the Blair Waldorf – Chuck Bass ‘Three Words, Seven Letters’ scene) have been revolving in my head for the past few hours. Okay, so I’m turning 26 in October but I’m still very much lost about this ‘act like your age’ thingy. At 25 plus plus, am I supposed to be poise? Am I supposed to sound somewhat matter-of-fact? Am I not allowed to be foolish? Am I not allowed to do a little jiggy whenever my favourite song is playing?
This all sort of…. hurts me? Because here I am, trying to be all positive, happy – basically being myself, and I’m being told to act my age. How is that supposed to work?! I am so confused. Is there a self-help book out there on how a 26 should because dude, if there is one, take all my money – I wanna read it!
I think this all goes back to what seems to be the society’s mindset about what an adult is. Not blaming anyone though – mindset is innate even though it can be altered.
I feel that society gives out the idea that a woman in her mid-twenties is supposed to be calm, very graceful – all this to woo a potential husband out there. You may say I sound shallow but I’ve witnessed a bajillion times about how a girl who is much more ‘woman-like’ at my age compared to someone like me, is deemed as ‘the ideal mid-twenties woman’. And the former ones are usually the type who ends up in a stable relationship and in the end, settles down to eventually have the perfect family. This, however, is a different story all together and requires another blog post, lol.
Going back to my behaviour – why am I, a loud, wacky, playful girl is deemed as childish? People forget that I, too, am rational in a lot other situations. That I, too, am emotionally and even monetarily stable. That I have a proper job where people respect me in the role that I am at work and I am able to make rational decisions.
This is where we all can safely say that…. no one should judge a book by its cover. I, too, tend to make initial judgments but I am working very hard not to do so. Why? Because I don’t want to be like those people who have judged me before they even know me.
I think why my family sees me like this is because after a long day at work, I get a bit playful when I’m at home. I honestly don’t blame them though – I don’t like putting on my work mask at home so that’s why they sort of don’t see that ‘serious’ side of me.
But then, maybe it’s also sort of… my fault too? I think I’ve been too in denial about being an adult that sometimes I tend to become very child-like. There – I’ve said it.
I have yet to come to terms with this adult concept so you can imagine how I’m struggling to even come to terms of accepting the fact that I’m supposed to embody the so-called ideal-woman-in-her-mid-twenties concept.
I’m very tired, really, of fulfilling a lot of expectations. I guess, at this point, all I should be doing is just be myself and ignore all these comments. As long as I am able to fulfill my role as His servant, a daughter, a big sister, a friend, a fellow human being – I should be okay, right?
Hopefully, people will be able to see that calm and crazy can jive together and honestly, it’s always good to be sort of flexible instead of sticking to only one of it.
In other words…